Transracial Adoption

I just attended a seminar on transracial adoption. While I don't feel committed to adopting any particular race of child, statistically the majority of kids in foster care are minorities and the majority of those kids are black. So I'm prepping for the most likely possibility, which is that I wind up with a black child (or children). Plus I've thought about it, and I think in terms of my life and living situation, children who are black or biracial black/white would fit in pretty well.

Graphic from 2013 showing percentages of children in foster care by race.

Why do I think this? Mainly because of how racially integrated my life is already.

I'm white but I have a decent amount of black people in my life. My housemates Joy, Mini T, Primo, Secondo, and Terzo are all black. My brother's fiancée and her family are black. I have black friends, white friends have adopted black children, and white friends who married black partners and had children with them. I think if I adopted black or biracial kids they would fit right in with my community.

As far as my religion goes, I think it should be no problem. I go to First Baptist Church in JP and the leadership of the church is racially diverse, as is the congregation. I'd say it's about half white, with the remaining half about three-quarters black and the rest mostly latinx. It's also very child and youth friendly. They have Sunday school, a children's circle, weekly church dinners, a kid's "music and mission" program, a youth group, and a monthly youth open mic night. On a side note, the church is liberal, queer friendly (they're members of the Association of Welcoming & Affirming Baptists, which is the national GLBT Baptist organization), and really into social justice. I found out about them at an affordable housing rally, which basically proves my point. They're involved in the black lives matter movement (that's a black lives matter sign on their lawn), they've partnered with black and pink which is a GLBTQ+ prisoner pen pal program, and they have some really cool programs like weekly meals for the elderly and homeless and a T pass program to cover transportation costs for their low-income and homeless members so they can come to church (and go everywhere else).

My church: note the black lives matter sign on the lawn. 

In terms of schools, I live in a racially diverse city and the public schools reflect that. Any kids I adopt will be in a diverse school environment just by virtue of the fact that they'll be in public school in my city. On a side note: the public schools here seem pretty decent in general, with a good teacher to student ratio and staff that seem willing to communicate with parents. They also have a universal free breakfast program and an after school program, and the elementary school includes Italian as a foreign language which makes me happy since I'm half Italian and want to teach my kids the language.

How about my house? Obviously my housemates are a diverse bunch. Built in playmates! Yay! I've got a bunch of racially diverse kids' books and movies, and the kids I live with have black baby dolls, a dollhouse with black people, and other diverse toys. We eat all kinds of tasty vegetarian and vegan food from different cultures. We have a bunch of friends and family coming in and out for visits as well and they're all sorts of different races and ethnicities.

The other big thing I go to is the French Cultural Center. They have children's classes, a children's library, summer camp, and a bunch of family friendly events throughout the year. They're also fairly diverse because they serve all francophone people. For example, they seem to have a fair amount of Haitian members. Their teachers and staff really do come from all over the place. I've taken classes with people from France, Belgium, Algeria, Egypt, the Ivory Coast, and Congo. If I want to put my kid into private lessons I can easily ask for one of the really great teachers I've had who are black and if I put them in one of the other classes I can be fairly confident that they'd not be the only child of color there.

The French Cultural Center.

My city is diverse. Any kids I adopt will run into other black people (and people of a bunch of different races and ethnicities) everywhere. I'll have no problem finding black babysitters. If I search them out, I should easily be able to find professionals who are black so my kids can have a black primary care doctor, a black therapist, etc. There's a playground right near my house with a diverse bunch of kids there whenever we visit. The local library is walking distance and has lots of free kids events. Basically I think I'm living in a good setting for this.

The other really big thing that I think will help is that I'm someone who values diversity in general. I find learning about other people fascinating. I grew up with foster siblings of different races and ethnicities. [Like the older black foster sister who taught me how to braid, so yes I've got the hair care thing down.] I feel deeply connected to my heritage and am excited to share that with my kids and to learn about their heritages as well. Although I don't have the experience of being racial discrimination, I've faced discrimination as a queer and gender non-conforming person and have developed the thick skin necessary to handle it. I know what it's like to be seen as less than others because of being different, and how to work to develop pride in yourself despite that. Those are lessons I can certainly pass that on to my kids. I'm also someone who is humble enough to know when to ask for help. I want to make sure my kids connect with adults of the same race who can teach them the things I can't. Because of my friends and my community I'm in a good place to be able to do that.