Paris - Beirut - Baghdad

I don't intend to make my blog a political space, but this subject feels more personal than political…

Image of a peace sign with the Eiffel Tower at the center.

Je suis horrifié par les attaques sur Paris. Heureusement, mes amies et ma filleule sont sûrs, mais mes pensées vont aux victimes, aux familles de celles-ci, et à toutes les autres personnes touchées par cette tragédie. Des États-Unis, j'envoie mes prières et solidarité.

Attacks also happened in Beirut and Baghdad and my prayers are with those victims and their families. I don't personally know any Iraqis but my Lebanese friends and their loved ones are safe, thank God.

I'm praying that this string of attacks doesn't lead to anti-immigrant or anti-Muslim backlash, and I'm hoping the fire at the refugee camp at Calais is unrelated to the attacks in Paris. I'm also frustrated by the lack of news coverage of the suicide bombings in Beirut. I would not have even heard about it had I not seen a post on the facebook wall of a Lebanese-American friend. [Edited to add: I think this post does a good job expressing my sentiments on that matter.]

Finances

Friends, yesterday was an important day. Yesterday was the day I mailed a settlement check to my ex husband (certified mail!) and now I no longer owe him anything. To both celebrate and mourn the occasion, today I drove to the place where he proposed and threw my wedding ring into the ocean. And then I cried. A lot. Anyone who finds crying excessive has clearly never been through an unwanted divorce. Hopefully a mermaid will find and enjoy the ring while I continue moving through this. For what it's worth, I do think my mini ritual loosened up some psychic gunk or something. I feel much more free now which is both awesome and terrifying.

Old fashioned car with "Just Divorced" sign in the window and tin cans tied to the back.

Anyway. That milestone is not what I'm here to talk about. I'm here to talk about my finances, which have taken a bit of a beating in the past year and a half because of the aforementioned divorce. I read an article that has given me some much needed financial hope.

I spent a good portion of today on hold with various doctors. And while I was on hold I browsed the internet on my phone (don't you just love tehnology?). It was during my browsing that I saw this article by Kristin Wong on Get Rich Slowly titled "I'm 30! Am I Where I Should Be With My Finances?" This is exactly the question I've been asking myself lately...

Round sign with orange border that has the number 30 on it.

Except that I'm 31. Meh. Apparently Fidelity says you should have a year's salary saved by the time you're 35, which Ms. Wong takes to mean that by age 30 you should have about half a year's salary saved in your retirement account. Shockingly, I've actually achieved this goal. Possibly because my salary is pitiful enough that half a year's salary is not that much money. In any case I've actually got about half a year's salary socked away in a Roth IRA.

Lest you mistake me, this money did NOT come through having a high paying job or a trust fund (though if you'd like to offer me either I'd be happy to accept). My career trajectory has been more like the waggle dance of the honey bee than a beeline to financial security - see what I did there? Also, have I mentioned on here that I love bees? I digress. I am telling you this not to cleverly find a way to state my love for bees but to point out that Ms. Wong's goal is achievable for (at least some of) the not-rich. I feel a lot like this man, though you'd never catch me in his outfit:

Triumphant looking white man in a business suit standing on a pile of gold coins.

Back to the article. Ms. Wong also quotes the folks at Financial Samurai as saying you need a year's worth of expenses covered by the time you're 31. I'm unclear whether they mean in your retirement account or in an emergency fund? I'm assuming they mean in an emergency savings account. At present, I have no emergency fund because it was wiped out when my husband left without warning. Instead of moving out or getting a roommate like I should have, I spent a year stubbornly struggling to make ends meet before admitting that I needed to move out of the beautiful two-bedroom apartment I could not afford on my own. I'd finally started to build my emergency fund back up this summer but then my car broke down. Sigh. So I guess I fail on this count. Which explains why my day-to-day relationship with money feels a little like this:

Picture of a white woman with an empty wallet crying/yelling. 

At any rate, Ms. Wong's article was interesting to read and it got me thinking about my finances. I've decided my current financial goals are to pay off my debt, build up an emergency fund, and start saving more intentionally for retirement because I do actually want to retire some day.

Friends, what are your financial goals? Are you where you want to be? Are you lost and overwhelmed? What do you think of Ms. Wong's article? And, most importantly, which of the pictures below most accurately reflects your financial situation?

Man desperately clutching a cracked
piggy bank as a float while a
shark in a business suit swims up to eat him. 

Woman in a bathtub of money drinking a glass of red wine

Apple Picking

Today I went apple picking with (most of) my housemates. Yay!

Pretty tree and stone fence.

Apple orchard with running kids!

Me in the corn maze.

September's puppy Dolphin (same name as my friend in France). 

Cleaning Out My Closet

Friends, I'm cleaning out my closet. And I don't mean the song by Eminem or the (in my opinion even better) song by Angel Haze. Nope, I mean some good old-fashioned throwing out anything that doesn't fit, has holes, or hasn't been worn in the last year. Here are some things I discovered while trying to clean out my closet:

1) My attempts to thwart the sock monster have failed. See, a while ago I started  buying only black socks of the same brand, so that when the sock monster that lives in my dryer claimed one of my socks I'd have no problems. I can't tell if that idea worked, but I can tell that the sock monster is angry because...

Meme that says "all my socks have holes in them."

How does this even happen?! I give up. I am buying fun socks and to hell with the sock monster.

2) I have secret aspirations to Guidohood. This does make some small degree of sense given I am part Italian and I have a not insignificant number of relatives who dress like the cast from Jersey Shore. Perhaps it's this desire to get back to my roots which inspired me to buy an entire bin full of beaters/a-frame undershirts in various colors. *facepalm*

Picture of guidos that says "I pump my fists up in the air sometimes
sayin' ayo I'm a guido!"

Since I'm going for full disclosure here I should mention that I also own dog tags, several crosses and rosaries, square cut diamond stud earrings, and more hair gel than I need now that my hair is rapidly fleeing to a better place. But at least I don't spray tan!

3) I have a disturbingly colorful underwear collection. As in, literally every color of the rainbow is represented including hot pink, teal, and lime green. Maybe it's time for some boring underwear so my next gentleman caller won't need sunglasses to shield his eyes from the brightness that is my skivvies?

Picture of an overly happy shirtless man throwing underwear in the air.

Light Summer

Light summer. That's what my type is according to Seasonal Color Analysis, which I explained two posts ago. This post is me pondering what that actually means and whether I care about it. Do you know your color label? If so, you should be able to find your colors on the chart below:

Graphic of the color palettes of each season side by side.

As a light summer, my colors seem to be pastels. Yuck. I find myself envying the deep autumns and cool winters with their bold color palettes. Fortunately, once I did a little more digging I was relieved to see that I have more options should I choose to follow this method of clothing myself. Here's a more accurate chart for light summers (you can find your own with a simple google search):

Series of dots of the different colors in the light summer palette.
They are mainly pastels, with mostly pinks and cool colors such as blues and teals. 

Much better. I'm still dismayed at the lack of orange and purple, but my favorite shade of teal is on here! And funnily enough, every single piece of clothing I own that gets complements from random strangers is on this chart. Including my super awesome three piece suit, which I was dead set on finding in charcoal because I look awful in black. So maybe the color analysts know something after all. Other thoughts: I never wear yellow so I don't know how well that would work for me. I still don't think I can force myself into  outfits primarily composed of pastels, but perhaps I could try mixing some of the pastels in with the darker colors on here. It seems like it might be worth a try, since I'm already in the process of building a new and better fitting wardrobe to go with my newly single status. 

Do any of you dress yourselves using seasonal color analysis? If so, how well does it work for you? Do you find it restrictive or helpful?

Peacock Me!

Halloween has come and gone, but the candy is still filling our cupboards. For whatever reason, there weren't many trick or treaters out this year. Which meant that the kid housemates got WAY more candy than necessary from houses eager to offload their candy. They each kept about half of their load of loot - which was still an entire shopping bag's worth - and the rest is stashed in a huge box that the adults have been noshing on.

All in all, I'd say Halloween went well. Between the party and housemates we had a crow, a phoenix, a cat, a bunch of grapes, a pumpkin, a madcap superhero costume, Leela from Futurama, a skeleton, a black turtle, Michael Jackson, Yoda, a fireman, me as a peacock, and some clearly less cool folks not in costumes. The party wound up relocating to an ice cream parlor nearby because my brother's wheelchair ramp did not actually work on my front stairs and two of the guests are power chair users. This meant that we did not eat all of the tasty food I prepared since I felt weird bringing it to the ice cream parlor. Here are photos of the food so you can see the tastiness:

Fake mouths using apple slices for lips, marshmallows for teeth and peanut butter for gums.

Broomsticks made with pretzel handles and string cheese bristles.

Graveyard cake: chocolate pudding covered with a layer of oreos, gummy worms,
and milano cookie tombstones with "RIP" written on them. 

Fear not! The food did not go to waste because the kid housemates had the healthier mouths and broomsticks for their snack and then we all ate the graveyard cake for dessert today so it was ok. If I get permission from the guests at the Halloween party, I'll post pictures of them. But at the moment I have not asked (who knows if I will?) so you'll have to content yourself with photos of me. Here you go:

Peacock selfie.

Weirdly angled front photo my brother took of me. 

Me attempting to show off my bustle.

The tutu was easy to make. I took a piece of elastic the right size for my waist and sewing it so it formed a loop.  Then I took strips of tulle two times as long as I wanted the tutu to be, and tied the middle of each tulle strip to the elastic using slip knots. If you need an actual tutorial video, you can find one here.

For the bustle, which I did not photograph very well, I looped my feather boa into an "M" shape, sewed the top onto a backwards apron that had ribbon ties (in case I wanted to take it off), and hot glue gunned a bunch of peacock feathers onto it. It came out well despite its failure to photograph.

I hope everyone else had a good Halloween!

Color Me Beautiful

Friends, in my search for new ways to put off doing my biostatistics homework, I stumbled upon the book "Color Me Beautiful" by Carole Jackson. It was apparently very popular in the 80s. This book does what is called "seasonal color anlysis." It breaks down people's complexions into a variety of seasons (four in the original, twelve in the updated version) and gives color palettes for each type that are supposed to enhance your appearance.

Cover of "Color Me Beautiful" by Carole Jackson.

Here is the basic method of figuring this out:

1) Do you look better in gold or silver? If you look better in gold your skin has warm undertones. If you look better in silver your skin has cool undertones.

2) Is your natural hair color dark or light for your ethnicity? Note the "for your ethnicity" part. One of the things people have said is that this system is for white people. Not so. You are not comparing your coloring to everyone - only to your own ethnic or racial group. So I'm comparing myself to other white folks (or other half Italian half French people if I meet any of them) and you should compare yourself to other people who are black, asian, latin@, or whatever ethnicity or race you are.

Using these two things, you've now got your season. I'm a summer, but I realize that determining this may be more difficult for some of you so I've added Disney princesses to help:

Cartoon of all of the Disney princesses posed together.

Winter - dark, cool. Snow White, Mulan, or Megara.
Spring - light, warm. Princess Jasmine, Belle, or Ariel.
Fall - dark, warm. Esmerelda or Pocahontas.
Summer - light, cool. Aurora, Cinderella, or Tiana.

Now, there are six secondary factors added in the updated version. Pick the one that is most dominant for your overall coloring. Here's the part where I can't decide. The secondary factors are:

Light - Your hair color and skin tone are both light for your ethnicity and your eyes are light blue, green, or grey. Summer or spring.

Dark - You have dark hair (black or very dark brown) and light to medium brown, green, or hazel eyes. Winter or fall.

Warm - Your overall coloring has an obvious warm undertone to it. Your hair is either strawberry blonde to auburn or golden blonde to brown and your eyes are deep brown, green, topaz, or hazel. Spring or fall.

Cool - Just the opposite of warm, your coloring has an underlying cool quality to it. Winter or summer.

Clear - Your overall coloring is high in contrast. Your hair is either very light or very dark and your eyes are bright blue or green, turquoise, amber, or topaz. Spring or winter.

Soft - Your overall coloring is low in contrast and close to neutral. Your skin and hair are similarly colored and your eyes are green, hazel, greyish blue, or brown. Summer or fall.

To complete your seasonal color analysis, you're supposed to combine your season with your secondary trait. I ganked this chart to help us visualize what we're working with:

Season wheel with the secondary traits mapped onto it.

At this point you are probably still lost. Or at least, I am still lost. So I looked up a bunch of celebrity examples. Most of these are white women.  Sorry! I tried :(

Cool Winter - Sasha Luss, Olivia Wild, Brooke Shields, Mila Kunis, Katherine Zeta Jones, Kristen Stewart

Deep Winter - Salma Hayek, Lucy Liu, Halle Berry, Michelle Obama, Naomi Campbell, Penelope Cruz, Michelle Williams, Johnny Depp, the Jonas brothers

Clear Winter - Courteney Cox, Zooey Deschanel, Katy Perry, Demi Moore, Liv Tyler, Vanessa Williams, Lupita Nyong'o, Zhang Ziyi, Kevin Brown, Romany Malco

Clear Spring - Emma Stone, Nicole Kidman, Julianne Moore, Heather Graham, Drew Barrymore, Britney Spears

Light Spring - Cameron Diaz, Kylie Minogue, Blake Lively, Renee Zellweger, Kate Hudson, Taylor Swift, Selita Ebanks, Kerry Washington, Owen Wilson, Alan Jackson

Warm Spring - Heidi Klum, Michelle Williams, Scarlett Johansson, Christina Hendricks, Ivanka Trump, Amy Adams, Conan O'Brien

Warm Fall - Lindsey Lohan, Julia Roberts, Beyonce, Olivia Palermo, Isla Fisher, Tilda Swinton

Deep Fall - Jennifer Lopez, Jessica Alba, Eva Mendez, Victoria Beckham, Sandra Bullock, Karina Smirnoff, Denzel Washington

Soft Fall - Nicole Richie, Gisele Bundchen, Jessica Biel, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Rachel Zoe, the Olsen twins, Mariah Carey, Rihanna, David Beckham, Justin Timberlake

Soft Summer -  Jennifer Aniston, Sarah Jessica Parker, Kate Moss, Katie Holmes, Ashlee Simpson, Leona Lewis, Danielle Leonel, Adriana Lima, Jude Law

Light Summer - Gwyneth Paltrow, Reese Witherspoon, Michelle Pfeiffer, Amy Poehler, Heather Locklear, Grace Kelly, Leonardo Di Caprio

Cool Summer - Milla Jovovich, Elizabeth Hurley, Miranda Lambert, Ruth Wilson, Christy Brinkley, Kimberly Williams

As I said, I initially had trouble deciding between the three summer types for myself. I finally determined that soft summers are more monochromatic than I am - most of those celebrities have hair and skin tones that are very similar to one another. They are also supposed to look good in cocoa brown, which makes my skin look flat and dull. The cool summers are more um… cool? Their coloring is sharper than mine. And they are supposed to look good in mint green, which turns my skin zombie-colored. Light summers are supposed to be flattered by light pinky coral, which is a color I rarely wear because it's so feminine but that always garners complements. So after all of this extensive research, I've decided I'm a light summer. Looks like I'm in good - and mostly blonde - company.

For reference, here's me:

Me on an overcast day.

Me on a sunny day.

Still lost? Use the colors here to go rule out some seasons.

If you're a person of color and want exta help figuring this out, try the link here.

What do you think? Were you able to figure out your color palette? Does it seem accurate?